Pulling One Over on Dad
Don’t call your father to wish him Happy Birthday! I convinced him it was tomorrow because I forgot. Sigh.
View ArticleScore a Point for Satan
Backstory: My sister and I were arguing about who owed money to whom. We were NOT upset, but my mother heard about it. Dad called and I told him that you both were upset over money. He said,”My Gosh,...
View ArticleBest Buy Jailbreak
Help, I’m a prisoner in Best Buy and dad has a manila folder and a stack of Consumer Reports
View ArticleHow to Weigh Yourself
Mom: Your father weighed himself today and was complaining because he’s up half a pound. I’ve told him he’s only supposed to weigh himself once a week, though. Me: yeah, otherwise there’s too much...
View ArticleYour Dad Is Gross
Your dad is gross: like this is new news to us. He just got back from a long run and was in the laundry room. He bent over to pick something up sweat came out of his sleeve. Did it drip out? Of course...
View ArticleNews Update: Colonoscopy Pickup Needed
Backstory: My dad and I have a standing phone call on Sundays. mom: well I must get going dad having colonoscopy and needs a ride home me: thanks for sharing! mom: I suspect they should be calling me...
View ArticleThe Truth Is Out There
Backstory: My dad is the kind of guy that Tivo’s every show about aliens on tv. Mom: tomorrow dad is on a liquid diet….he’s being probed on thursday…i told him i bet he wishes aliens were doing it
View ArticleTrapped With Dad and Bro
Backstory: My mom lives with my dad and 17-year-old brother. I asked if we were invited to my cousin’s wedding. Don’t know. I would guess so. I cant think about such trivia now. . . We are in the...
View ArticleSnuggle Time Coming Right Up
That sounds nice. (great that you are in the art show) I don’t mean to be rude, but I am going to get off this computer and try snuggling with your father. Don’t make snide remarks… If we had never...
View ArticleIn Case of Craigslist Murder
I’m going to pick up a clay cooker from a guy on Craig’s list. Dad was going to come with me; however, he isn’t feeling well so I’ll probably go alone. I’ve done it before but in case the guy, Russ,...
View ArticleI Expect You to Lie for Me
Mom: I’m going to kill your father Me: Don’t tell me these things, that’s premeditated murder, you’re going to get more time in prison for that. Mom: Right, but you have to understand that I expect you...
View ArticleSick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired
Backstory: my father made the mistake of asking my mom why she was so tired… I am tired of picking up laundry that is lying in the hall I am tired of cooking, cleaning, dishwashers, washing machines,...
View ArticleDadnapping
Mom: did I ever tell you about the time we kidnapped your dad? Me: no Mom: well I’m not gonna tell you now either, might incriminate myself Mom: some other time when nobody’s around Me: whaat Mom: I...
View ArticleEngagement Shoes
Backstory: This is the first email I received from my parents after I told them I was engaged. My mom does not use the computer so my dad sends the emails on her behalf… Mom wants to know what your...
View ArticleLooking for a Happy Father’s Day
Mom: So, did I tell you that your dad asked if I would sleep him again now that the divorce is final? Me: Ummm. Did you tell him that ship has sailed? Mom: Oh, honey, that ship SANK.
View ArticleDad is Home! But…
dad is home! he’s feeling better he still hasn’t had a good bowel movement since last wednesday so he is full of shit :-) love mom XOXO
View ArticleHow a Bike Ride is Like a Mezuzah
Backstory: My mom’s response to an email I sent about riding my bike to work through central park Hearing this made Dad very happy. Kind of the equivalent of having you call me to be reminded where to...
View ArticleDude!! It’s Your Daughter’s Wedding.
Backstory: Ever since I was about 14, I called my Dad “Dod,” because it amused me. It stuck. Anyway, my dad lost a lot of weight recently and he needs a new suit for my wedding. I told Dod the other...
View ArticleThe Joys of Aging
Backstory: Mom’s response to my email asking how old Dad is turning next week. He was born in 1950…………….yikes, 62. Don’t say anything about getting old. It is bugging him that we are getting old and...
View Article
